Another Year on the Books

The 2014-2015 school year has come to a close. It has been a good year - because God ordained us to be here, to be engaged, to be faithful - but that does not mean it has been easy.

CISP Student Body - 2014-2015

These are the students we have served as teachers & chaplains, as mentors & monitors. They represent 17 different nationalities, and at least 5 different spiritual backgrounds. More than 15 of them will not return next fall.

Please continue to pray for these students over the summer. Though they may not be in our classes or small groups next year, they will forever be in our hearts & prayers. 

That Lump in My Throat is Gratitude

We didn't go "home" this summer, since our daughter lacks a valid VISA allowing her to come & go. I've missed the opportunities to see family & friends, but I've also been thankful for the opportunity to remain in Prague because it's meant we could stay in one place and not have to travel so much.

A major drawback to staying overseas for a summer means that we don't get to connect with our supporting churches & sponsors. It means that there are no large one-time donations, no "love offerings" taken after we speak. It means that our support can start to dwindle.

Sometimes I wonder if some of our sponsors have forgotten about us. I know it's not intentional - I really think it's more of an "out of sight, out of mind" type of thing. Goodness knows we all have tremendous demands on our attention. Some of it is perhaps our fault too, because we've had a terrible time keeping up with this blog, and with our newsletters. (Speaking of demands on attention, have you ever tried to blog with an 8-month-old on your lap?)

When I logged in to our mission account register last month, my heart sank, because we were $1000 short of our monthly goal. I found myself thinking that if we'd been stateside, if we'd made the appearances, if I'd been more faithful with newsletters, we wouldn't have fallen short. I told myself I'd get a newsletter out the very next week, but then we started Czech class...and had friends come to visit...and I had four applications to process...

Another few weeks went by, and I'd failed to let anyone hear from us. I hadn't communicated our financial needs. I logged in mid-month, and I was crushed. We were now over $2500 behind. Again, I vowed to get a newsletter out immediately. And then we needed to say farewell to some very dear colleagues...and we had a meeting with the school director...and we had three doctors' appointments...and we had another meeting with our VISA agent...

I really didn't want to check in at the end of the month, knowing that my lack of communication was going to be reflected in our account balance. However, when I opened our ledger this month, I was astounded to see that we were only $483 short of our month's goal. There were some large, one-time gifts that had been sent in.

Once again, God has shown me that His care for us is not dependent on my striving, my shortcoming, or even my best intentions. I'm so very, very thankful. 

The Summer Conundrum

It seems to be rare for missionary teachers to spend the summers in their countries of service. Why? Because they are usually "home" for the summers, visiting family and trying to raise support. That's certainly been our experience in the past.

The pros of going stateside for six weeks or so are fairly obvious: 

• Getting to see precious family members and dear friends
• Opportunities to reconnect with sending churches & sponsors
• Chances to buy affordable clothing, books & coffee
• Air conditioning, iced drinks & free refills

However, if we're in the US, then we're not here in the Czech Republic, which means that we miss out on the following:

• Chances to build relationships with our neighbors, co-workers & students
• Ability to assist with ongoing school improvement projects
• Engaging in summer outreach such as English camp
• Opportunities to study Czech

The decision to remain in Prague this summer was really out of our hands, since we cannot leave the EU until Susanna Jane has a long-term visa. We'd love to introduce our daughter to family members and dear friends; we'd love to visit our supporting churches and let everyone know how very thankful we are. On the other hand, it's a tremendous blessing to remain in the Czech Republic this summer, and we're looking forward to what God has in store for us here. 

A Normal Life

A dear friend of ours posted this Facebook status:

"What would it take for me to have a 'normal' life? Just curious."

and the answers she received were everything from the ubiquitous "normal is a dryer setting" to "we can't have normal lives."

The funny thing is, as a fellow missionary, her life seems perfectly normal to me. I get where she's coming from - it would be great to feel like you actually had a home in your "home country." It would be nice to be back home and not feel as though you need to constantly explain/describe/defend why you do what you do. The idea of a dependable salary seems oh-so-appealing when you've spent the majority of your home time on the road raising support, and you're still only at 42% of your goal.

My speculation is that her quest for a normal life really isn't about her wanting to trade in her calling for a desk job and a mortgage so much as it's a desire to be understood, to belong. Really, I think that's what every one of us longs for.

This is something I've been pondering a great deal as I've struggled to keep up with correspondence. "How can I compose a letter that accurately describes what we're dealing with here? How can I keep it under 5,000 words? How can I make people understand?" But I haven't really come up with an answer.

When God called us to serve overseas, it meant leaving behind what the majority of our friends & family considered to be a "normal" life, and embracing the uniqueness and the uncertainties of life in missions. While there *are* days I wish I could trade it in for a home in the suburbs and a 9-5 job which really ended at 5, most of the time I'm grateful for this tremendous opportunity to serve Him, wherever that may take us.

Before We Even Ask

Our sweet baby girl - who is TWO months old! - is suffering from reflux. While it's not considered severe enough for medication, it's troublesome enough to have caused us a few sleepless nights, and several uncomfortable afternoons.

Susanna Jane Brande - two months old

When we packed our container with baby gear, we thought we had all the infant essentials we could need. But with the onset of reflux, I was kicking myself for not having included a recliner or bouncy seat - any sort of place where I might secure her in a more upright position. I can't remember if I ever voiced these longings aloud, but I certainly thought about it.

Just before we classes resumed this week, one of our colleagues called Phil to say he was bringing over some old baby toys for us to use. The domafon rang, and Phil went down to collect our gifts. When he walked in the door, my eyes filled with tears - in his hands was a bouncy seat!

Another reminder that God is providing not only for our needs, but also for the needs of our baby girl, even before we ask.

Susanna Jane enjoying her new bouncy seat.

Relief from reflux at last.

Support Springs from the Heart

Christiana's Corner: I've had a rough day, work wise.
That's not something I say very often these days - most of the time, I love my roles in staff care, development & recruitment. Yet every once in awhile, I have an unfortunate phone call that just leaves me feeling drained, wounded, and totally ineffective. Today I had to deal with an irate sponsor.

(Before I go any further, I just want to clarify that this was not one of OUR sponsors - this was a call I had to field on someone's behalf.)

I will not go into great detail, but the crux of the call was that the couple was unhappy with the direction in which the sponsored staff  was headed with service. Although they were asking me to give explanations & justifications, they didn't really want to hear them. It was irrelevant that this worker has the full backing & support of the agency. They had already made up their minds about what they were going to do:  they couldn't control the actions of their sponsored staff member, so they were just going to stop giving.

Sadly, this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Ordinarily I'd dust off the phone & go on, but today's encounter has continued to weigh heavily on my heart. (Perhaps it's the pregnancy hormones?) I ache not only for this particular individual who will lose this support, I'm hurting for the sponsors, who are so misguided & angry.

Since writing is the way I often reclaim my calm, I decided to channel today into something which might eventually be of use to someone, rather than allow it to continue to eat at me. Here, in no particular order, are some things I'd like to ask all supporters of missionaries- no matter who you are or who you support- to please hold in mind:

• You have been *asked* to give. Asked is the key word - you are never obligated to support anyone, even if we're relatives. We love you anyway.
• The size of your gift is secondary to the sincerity with which you give it. Those of us who've been on the field for many, many years know that the $5 per month donations sent with love & heartfelt prayers are every bit as precious as the $100 checks.
• Pray carefully about your decision to give before you fill out a commitment card. We will count every card toward our monthly/annual budget. If you're sending in a card just to be "nice", but have no intention of really giving those gifts, it's that much harder for us to stay on budget.
• It's okay to change your mind!  We understand that circumstances can change, but please communicate these changes with us. 
• Unless you've been called to the exact same culture/country/circumstance, please don't assume to know what we're going through. Please remember that every worker is unique, and that there's not always a "perfect" answer to the problem.
• Choose to sponsor us because we're called by God for a purpose. Although it may be attractive to support a particular project or cause, remember that plans sometimes change, and not of our own decision. We might not get to build the bridge we intended; it won't stop us from working just as hard to dig a well somewhere else.
• If you're concerned or confused about how we're doing, please connect with US! If you can't talk by phone, e-mail or send a letter. Don't call up the home office and demand a full report, because the person on the phone isn't the one on the field.
• Please give out of love. If you're giving to try to gain control of something, you're giving for the wrong reason. 
• Your support springs from your heart, not your wallet or your trust fund. If there's a day when you resent writing that support check, that's the day you should stop giving. 

My heart is still sore from the earlier event of today, but it's not nearly so heavy. Thank you for allowing me to share some of my thoughts here.